Summer’s soft, warm breezes are back, bringing their own special memories: the end of exams; holidays on the beach; falling asleep in hammocks; but most of all, the first few exciting weeks of a new relationship.
How many of us have enjoyed our first romantic relationship thanks to the revealing outfits that warm weather allowed us wear, the tanned limbs the sun gave us and the simple fact we had somewhere that wasn’t indoors to go and, well, explore?
But when sun goes in and the Ray-Bans come off (somehow instantly losing that rose-tinted quality they possessed) we find ourselves ‘in a relationship’. First impressions of our new beau are suddenly hanging by a thread as we begin to wonder if our trust in this new person is not a little misplaced. Surely they’re not perfect. No one is perfect! So what is this person hiding?
And then there’s the other side to the relationship: you. What are you hiding? Is it you that’s been maintaining a front, an act, to make yourself appear more interesting or mysterious than you really are? What happens if they find out who the real you is – that you eat chocolate bars in bed and stash the wrappers behind the nightstand or that there’s a video on YouTube that you can’t erase of you doing a weird dance in just your underpants to a re-mix of Lilly Allen’s It’s Not Fair? What then?
You’ve ticked all the vital question boxes in the last weeks: job; no children; ambition; favourite film genre. But now the uncomfortable questions remain: those questions that tell you more about who they once were – and might give you a better idea of exactly who you’re dealing with now; those questions for which you don’t need answers… for the time being.
So – do you scratch the itch and ask – or just leave it? Maybe over dinner you casually slip them a series of non-threatening enquiries, interspersed with more intrusive (and possibly deal-breaking) queries. What was their first pet? Do they prefer baths or showers? What size shoes does their mother wear? Did their ex do that thing that you did the other night with or without that thing you used? What do they think about spending Christmas abroad? How many people have they slept with? What was the name of their first teddy bear? And so on.
Could there be a deadly scorpion lurking in the tangled undergrowth of their personality? Some hint of a weird past or an incomprehensible fetish, something that confuses your current reckoning of that person and their tastes. Suddenly someone you were starting to think you knew quite well becomes a total stranger. How do you deal with this new new person? Resolve the issue? Chuck them out?
Disclosures about our past generally bring two people together, rather than drive them apart. And if these do drive a wedge between you, then, hey, que sera sera. But until that late September moment comes, when it’s too cold for those skimpy outfits and the legs start losing their tan, why not enjoy the sunshine, explore outdoors and rack up a few things that’ll be worth confessing?
The author is currently searching for couples under the age of 35 to talk in a series of short films about confessions between partners. If you’re interested in appearing, please find her on twitter @floxxiewalker or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org to let her know that you’re interested.