Niśaby Sharmila Chauhan
I open the door; place a hand on the hallway wall. It is covered in velvet; soft and dense. Vibrations thud against my palm from the party next door. The smell of sandalwood, earthy and sweet, envelops me. Candles decorate the alcove where I place my coat. I undress down to my underwear, then I lock the front door, putting the chain on for good measure.
I cannot see or hear him, but he calls me, welcoming me into a cocoon that is us.
The walls from next door thud again; it’s a muffled sound of strong bass, like a heartbeat. But it subsides and in its wake, I hear the music from the living room; the riff of a sitar, the flow of a flute. A fan whirs and warm air caresses my bare, moist skin. He is lying on a blanket on the floor, facing away from me. The light from the window falls over his body. Angel like, he is still and glowing.I lie down, spooning him. We breathe. My hand finds his heart, and I’m pressing my heart chakra against his back. I can feel the energy in me and him rise. I want to kiss him, but he doesn’t move. I want those arms around me, I want those lips on me. I want him to say something.
Instead, he melts towards me with no words at all.
His lifts my fingers from his chest and in an instant I’m engulfed in his mouth. That warm place of wet, soulful pleasure. He pulls my fingers along his gums and into the crevices of his cheeks. I feel the energy fizz in the place where my body ends and his begins. He is moaning gently as I trace and explore. He lets me find my own way now, surrendering to my touch. His tongue moves to give me space to caress and discover. I let my fingertips glide into his throat, the satin against my skin; I feel the pull of his body urging me. I go deeper, feeling his membranes tighten around my bones and flesh. I’m plunging into him, he is dissolving beneath me. We stay like that a while; on the cusp, not moving, just feeling. Then I gently pull my fingers out, his lips caressing each knuckle as they ease out, lingering at my fingertips; the tease is irresistible.
Finally he pulls me towards him. We hold each other. I press my heart to his; so I can find him in completeness. We run fingers along each other’s cheeks and hairline. His rise into my hair, caressing, pulling as his eyes link mine. The gaze is deep but gentle; not asking for anything. I see the wounds in his; the tender places that he guards well. I see admiration and love, I see what I do to him; and I let him see what he does to me. I see the little boy who is kind and tender and a man who can take control of me. A man who sinks right into me.
Eventually his fingers find my mouth. His lips, my neck. His nails, my skin. I give into it. The energy rises and I want him in my mouth, my body rushing to places that we both know we want; but maybe not just yet.
Not just yet.
He pulls my underwear off. First the knickers, caressing the outside of my yoni with deep strokes. Then he uncups my breasts murmuring appreciation. Released, I am pressing them towards him. He runs his hands gently over the flesh, feeling abundance and weight, making circles. His hands stroke between my legs, along my calves and up again, to my crown. Finally his mouth finds a nipple. He looks at me as he sucks; and delight floods my body. He is expert, a light touch at first, then working down to the deeper, longer holds that he knows I love. And I’m coming; the gush between my legs already strong and heady. I can smell myself. As I squirt, he grins, putting a hand down to my pussy and catching the liquid and spreading it over my stomach and his. I fall. Fall into the moment.
Into every moment.
Our movement becomes heightened as the energy rises between us, I can feel it expanding. He lies above me, not touching. We play the Kundalini field: letting it move between us and around us, reaching a limb out and then another, caressing each other with the lightest, most sensitive strokes. It’s so intense that I am a little afraid. Understanding this, he lays down next to me, adjusting me so he can spoon me. He holds me gently and then closes my legs, grounding the intensity; helping me to be the conduit I want to be.
When I am ready, he opens me up again and lies back on top.
I want him inside me.
He strokes my hair. He whispers the things he will do to me and what he wants me to do to him.
My body arches towards him, but he is gone.
Cupping my feet in his hand, he sucks a toe or two or three. Moans stretch out from places I do not know well enough yet. The walls vibrate as my screams come unabated. Primal and untethered. Waves rise through my body, strong and untamed, send it up or down, he whispers, as I struggle, he places a hand onto my third eye and everything flows up and out and suddenly I am both with him and everywhere else.
I sit up, straddle him, my nakedness now alongside his. He reaches for a metal bowl and raises it above our heads. My hands come up to meet his and we pour the warmed oil onto each other’s bodies. It is lush, fragrant and thick.
We sit: yab yum.
Face each other
I kiss him.
I kiss him hard, pushing him backwards, but he resists me. I bite his lips; thrust my tongue into his mouth, finding his. He responds, the tension mounting, I feel his erection against my yoni, feel myself dripping onto him. My hands run over his skin; each cuticle now magnified under the sheen of oil. I glide over him, him over me, the moment blurs as we lift and merge…
I feel everything that is you.
You feel everything that is me.
My hair is on your chest. Your hands on my back. My lips on you shoulder.
Yours on my temple.
We slide over each other, rediscovering soft and hard, melting and expanding; everything magnified. I bite you, knowing the marks will blossom later. You scratch me, knowing I can’t resist it. My roars fall onto your chest. Sweat, saliva and come leak out me and onto you. I do not care for the noise, the loud, the mess. I do not care for anything except to feel your hands; your body over mine.
I lie onto my back and you lift my hips. Pull my legs over your shoulders. I am upside down. There, like a vase you begin to drink me. Slowly, putting a your thumb inside me so I’m grounded. Your tongue dances over my clit and lips. I hear you lapping. Feel your grip on my buttocks tighten as you feel me coming. I squirt all over your face and you drink it down. I’m releasing everything, and I love it. You take your time, even when I say enough, we both know there is more. But you do not tease them out until you know I am ready. I find your erection with my hands. We giggle and laugh as the orgasms bubble and rise.
Finally you release me and I fall onto the bed. We lie there just holding hands for a few moments and then you’re pulling me up. Up. Up. You push me against the wall, my back against the velvet, your knee between my legs. I hold your bones right against my mound. As we kiss I feel the ache deep in my pussy. You feel it too. You slide the tip of your erection between my labia and it is exactly where I need it, the gentle hardness of your cock and my wetness melding. I savour it a while and then push you away, trying to untangle myself. But you’re not ready to release me. We tussle a little; a gentle violence that feeds both passion and laughter. It doesn’t last long, and I win. I pull you back to the floor.
I grin and slide down, taking a moment to feel your cock between my fingers. Hello… Did you miss me? The tiny slit trembles a little as I cup your balls. Mmmmm, I let my humming vibrate along your shaft as I pull you into my mouth. It’s so hard against the inside of my cheeks, I tease and lick, using my hands too. I feel you shake a little, your hands finding my body. Sometimes you watch and our eyes meet, but mostly you relax. Your moans tell me all I need. You come. It’s like a squeeze in you entire body, as the energy releases once and then twice. I smile: a multiorgasmic man is a rare find. Finally, you are ready.
I lie back. You trace the tip of your cock on my clit and I feel you falling into your desire. Kali roars through my veins. There is a cave and firelight, there is a storm, there is a churning sea, and it is all in me and around me. I cannot feel the edges of my body. The roar of orgasms leaves me parched and I open my mouth as you pour water down my throat and laugh as I spit some of it back onto you.
You know that I’m ready.
But first I want something else.
You know what it is.
You sit between my legs. Your toe finds my pussy and pushes through, a hand finds mine and our eyes find each others through the space between us. Your finger on my clit and I’m coming all over you; and the pressure is immense. My pussy bursts with pleasure and a little pain. Pain that shrinks into more pleasure each time you push against me. Your eyes glaze a little, but all the time you are watching me, feeling me; letting me be what I want to be. Free and unrestrained, I come and then I fall and push you away gently as the tears well and the waves engulf me. A sadness erupts, but you are there, holding and feeling me through, keeping me close.
You hold me through.
Then you slide into my wetness.
I feel the tip of your cock slowly past the g-spot. You push gently there. There is a light that enters my head and my third eye is beaming bright like a lighthouse and my pelvis is grounding down. I feel light and floating. I feel everything disappear, I feel you and me. I feel a rush. I feel a depth. I feel you in me and me in you. Your cock is so hard and gentle. You run along the length of me, easing into each spot. Changing rhythm, finding new places, finding places where time expands and we fall into a fold. We stay there embraced by the sheer pleasure of the sensation. There is no beginning, no end. There is only what is. Your cock floods me, and I open, open inside to outside. I fall, I yield, I expand. Kali finds me again. She lets the orgasms string together like a necklace of beads. She opens to you so you can come into her.
I bring you close, your head falls towards mine. We kiss, your cock sliding up into my cervix as I come. The consciousness burning strong and bright, deep inside me. I feel you push a little hard, hold the space, and then come with an ejaculation. It is delicious. You hold onto me, as I shake around you. You ground me, bringing me close. We wrap around each other. The wave slows and carries us.
Finally we rest.
The softness of surrender lulling us into slumber.