Free Love – Orgy Timeline

What does “Free love” mean in this context? And what are we really talking about: ‘Loving’ or ‘Fucking’? Freedom from what? Social mores, religious doctrine? Freedom from the daily grind, the structure and conventions that organise a “civilised society” – marriage?

Marriage is at the heart of Western thought about coitus. It organises and stratifies for the progeny of the race, the ‘good of society’, constructing convention and tradition for sex and love. It is the cornerstone around which many build their conceptions of these. But take a gander at that murky mass we call ‘history’ and you’ll find people struggling against the marshalling of their feelings and urges for the purposes of control and ‘civilisation’. Whether this is via the secret rites of Ancient Gods, or 5 glasses of wine, 2 errant contact lenses and a crowded dance-floor, these individuals are the inhabitants of the next few pages. So, dear reader, I invite you to board the bus and away: less expensive than the average tour and conducted, at your convenience, from the comfort of your own home, ER presents its very own “Orgy Timeline”, a historical romp through the communal excesses of history.

THE GREEKS

The Greeks worshipped not the Supreme Father God that Christianity knows and loves, but the rather more inclusive ‘Pantheon’. Compared to the monotheistic tradition, this group of reprobates were a self-interested bunch of layabouts who whiled away eternity having the sex, drinking the ambrosia, and generally making merry. In venerating the pantheon, the Greeks recognised and embraced elements of their nature that later religions were to reject. The bible says: “God created man in his own image” (Genesis 1:27). For the Greeks, something of the reverse was true.

The Greek “orgia” meaning “rites” gives us our word “orgy”. With no weekends, religious worship in Greece was about the only time they got a respite from the daily grind. And, much like the Friday night revellers of today, they feasted and imbibed, dancing the night away with general abandon.

1. The Maenads

Every second year, in the heart of winter, Greek women (most likely the upper classes – those kinky bints) would head to the mountains, shed their shoes, let downtheir hair, and don fawn skins (I’m thinking Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC). They sacrificed cakes, got pretty boozed, and danced the night away. By all accounts, proceedings soon degenerated into an al fresco sex spree involving goat penises or, for the more refined bacchant, fig-wood phalluses. Ray Mears would approve.

2. The Hippolytus

It was for a Greek Audience that Euripides wrote his Hippolytus. The title character of the play rejects sex and Aphrodite, vowing to remain “pure” and devoting himself to Artemis, the virgin goddess. (Clearly he didn’t get the memo about “Hell hath no fury…”) Long story short: the spurned goddess extracts her terrible revenge, Hippolytus is destroyed by a bull – a vivid symbol of male sexual potency –, and balance is restored. The enduring message of the play is this, balance: embracing all facets of humanity. Love and sex was to be respected no less than the virginity that was to become such an obsession of later religions.

3. The Gods

For the gods’ views on adultery, see the passage in Homer’s The Odyssey where Aphrodite and Ares are caught in flagrante by the former’s cuckolded hubby Hephaistus. As the assembled immortals get an eyeful of the lovers wrapped in the chains of the smith-god’s creation, Apollo turns to his little brother Hermes and says something to the effect of: “Gee that’s a fine bit of tail. I know there’s some kinky chain action going on, but would you swap places with Ares?” To which Hermes replies: “Boy oh boy Apollo, I’d take those chains and I’d add a gimp mask and a but plug if I could get my end away with that fox Aphrodite.” Cue censorious stares and judgemental mutterings? Heavens no. “So spake he and laughter arose among the immortal gods”.

THE ROMANS

Consider, if you will, that most Roman of institutions, the Games: prisoners eaten alive by wild beasts or raped by trained ones, Christians covered in pitch and set alight. In one instance, a woman accused of poisoning several men was stripped, and bound spread eagled to a bed in the middle of the arena. She was then mounted and raped by a trained donkey, before other beasts were despatched to finish her off. Consider also that gangs of prostitutes used to assemble near the Circus Maximus to intercept men who had gotten all hot under the collar at the presentation of such visual delights. Vidi veni eh?

The games comprised a significant part of the activity on public holidays. The visceral violence of the spectacle, combined with the holiday’s freedom from the working routine must have been a potent mix: a release from “normality” and all the constraints it imposed. This psychological freedom was compounded at certain festivals such as the Floralia and the Lupercalia, which granted erotic licence en masse.

1. Dinner Parties

Romans are famous for their dinner parties. And not because they served their bread rolls warm. In fact, were a Roman to find himself at the Parker-Smythes’ of an evening and be presented with a warm poppy seed knot, he’d probably try and have sex with it. When these Ancient Italians instituted the practise of drinking wine neat (their wine was much stronger than the liquid we know and love, and was traditionally mixed with water), diners frequently got so trolleyed that they were unable to urinate straight (into a chamber pot or otherwise). For their dining comfort, said chamber pots were positioned in close proximity to the table, and slaves were employed to help with the ‘aiming issues’. How they managed to aim their disoriented whangs for more licentious purposes remains something of a mystery. No doubt the Roman talent for innovation (by which I mean slaves) carried the day.

2. Bacchanalia (186 BC)

The Bacchanalia was the Roman version of the Greek Dionysia. According to Livy, the gatherings of the Bacchanalia were a pretty standard orgiastic mix of religion, wine, dancing and sexual perversion. The scary bit is that once you were there it was an all-or-nothing affair. If you mentioned that actually you felt “a bit weird” about letting the assembled company play “how many root vegetables?” with your arsehole, they’d do it anyway and then kill you for being a prude. Following the exposure in 186 BC of the less than sanitary practises of the revellers, about 7000 people were prosecuted and the majority executed. The senate were worried that the gatherings might be breeding grounds of political dissent. Who’s guessing that none of them had ever been to an orgy?

3. The Bona Dea

Another girls only festival. The respectable women of Rome would gather in one of the company’s house and make merry. The rites were supposedly a secret, but word on the street was that things would inevitably get a bit steamy (over pudding I imagine), and from there on out it was muffs-a-go-go. Juvenal’s picture of events characteristically tends to the scurrilous: “Shrieking flutes excite the women’s loins…their hearts blazing with lust, their voices stammer with it, their wine gushes in torrent down their soaking thighs…even Priam’s aged loins and Nestor cold with age would burn to see it.” Yeah, right, Juvenal, and “girly sleepover” is woman-speak for “Sapphic sex fest”.

THE MIDDLE AGES AND THE RENAISSANCE

Christianity has an awful lot to answer for. It nailed countless young medieval spirits to the idea that a fuck for anything other than procreation (yawn) was a sin. As for sex guides, we should count our blessings for what’s on offer today. For your average horny middle ager, there was only one – the Bible – and it was pretty limited to say the least. Fancy a change from missionary? Game over – you’ve sinned. Get your girl on top, and you can say goodbye to those pearly white gates (hell’s probably more interesting anyway). As you can imagine, free love wasn’t exactly on the cards, and sex in the Dark Ages was just that – dark (and not in a fun way). Save for a handful of impish popes, who were very happy to bridge the gap between congregation and orgy.

Then something miraculous happened. People began to remember that people used to enjoy sex. And that their Gods had been as horny as hell. Cue the ancients suddenly back in fashion (funny how these things come around). Christianity’s golden girl was the Virgin Mary. Frankly, no religion’s ever going to be that much fun when your prima Donna’s still waiting to have her cherry popped. Aphrodite was far more racy, born out of the foam from Uranus’ severed balls (yikes) and quite nonchalant about being depicted with her kit off, and her hand right between her legs. No immaculate conception to worry about there.

The Renaissance was the great period of erotica. Pietro Aretino, ‘the father of modern pornography’ deserves a mention. His ‘Secret life of Nuns’, depicting horny Venetian ‘virgins’ taking part in ‘jousts’ with groups of monks and priests, is still as enjoyably smutty as it was then. “First tilt went to the trumpeter…spurring himself on with his fingers, he ran his lance right into his lady-friend’s target right up to the hilt…” Good Heavens. As for free loving in art, Titian’s Diana and Acteon, which sits haughtily in the National Gallery, is simply a depiction of a Sapphic orgy. Free love was very much a part of the Renaissance but it was empowered by highbrow erotica. Just look beneath the surface and you realize that behind every Titian or Boticelli is a patron gagging for his own bacchanal.

1. Nuns in Venice

Italian Convents just aren’t what they used to be. In the 15th century, nunneries were run like up-market brothels, with the nuns able to invite whoever they wished to join them. This resulted in all manner of sins. One Sister Filipa Barbarigo was known to have entertained ten different lovers at the same time, including, rather dangerously, her abbesses’ own toyboy. At another convent, which marketed itself as a rehab for loose women, very little reforming seems to have actually gone on. In fact, the reverend Father was discovered in a ‘ménage a plus’ with twenty of his ‘repenting’ nuns. On a side note, those enterprising women of God had things covered even when no man was at hand. The pastinaca muranese or “crystal turnip”, was a state-of-the-art dildo made of fine Venetian glass. Once filled with water, it provided a very agreeable replacement when some salacious abbot wasn’t around to do the job.

2. Pope Alexander VI (1492)

If Pope Alexander VI’s job title hadn’t been so synonymous with chastity, he would have gone down as one of the Renaissance’s great bon vivants. Instead, the press surrounding him isn’t particularly glowing. He has made it onto more than one list of ‘the world’s most evil men’. His parties at the Vatican were notorious. At one, The Ballet of the Chestnuts, fifty of Rome’s finest whores where called into to frolic naked in front of Alexander, his guests and his, erm, children. Later on the guests were invited to join the lovely ladies. Servants kept a tally of each man’s orgasms and prizes were distributed to the men who came out top. Kind of like a 15th century game show, where points, or rather spunk, meant prizes. Understandably this history wasn’t too impressed, what with the Pope meant to be all pure, virtuous, chaste etc. Conclusion: Bad Pope? Maybe. Great roué? No question.

3. May Day

Think of the maypole and think of insipid Morris dancers prancing around wearing outfits that can only be intended as an extreme form of contraception? Then think again. That great phallic symbol used to be the kinkiest thing on offer in England of yore. Mayday was the official date when people happily frolicked around this giant cock decked out in its ribboned finery, before retiring to the open fields to fuck anyone and everyone. Right across rural Europe, up until the 16th century, May was a month of free love, with marriage bonds re-commencing in June. It was only when that repressed puritan, Oliver Cromwell, took over and gave the maypole a XXX rating that the peasants had to rein in their carnal conduct. Shame really.

THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY AND THE ENLIGHTENMENT

One need only look to Hogarth’s Rake’s Tale to discover that free love was all the rage in the eighteenth century. Mary Woolstonecraft used reason to decree sex not sinful, but actually quite a lot of fun. People were also just as interested in the sordid affairs of others as we are today, with ‘scandal rags’ providing readers with plenty of delightful corruption to tickle their fancy. And as for the orgy, having found popularity with the restoration of King Charles II, the sexual debauchery of the age trickled right the way through the social spectra of eighteenth century England, from royals to ruffians, creating a society steeped in sex.

Georgian London certainly had its fair share of depraved characters. Charlotte Hayes was the madam of an infamous London brothel, known for its rather specific offerings – twelve young boys bonking twelve young girls, for the entertainment of twenty-three paying guests. And with eleven of these guests on one particular night known to be MPs, you can sure as hell bet that this little secret didn’t stay locked up for long. The orgy was quite a talking point of the Enlightenment; Some of the period’s most notorious figures put our century to shame.

1. The Second Earl of Rochester (1647-1680)

With the restoration of the fun-loving monarchy, libertinism was back in vogue. John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester, was just your average aristocratic, whose main pleasures in life revolved around women and words. Sharing mistresses with King Charles II, indeed acting as the confidant of the most infamous royal comcubine, Nell Gwyn, his legacy lies in composing some of the dirtiest poetry around. This gem was written for the king about Nell:

She was so exquisite a whore

That in the belly of her mother,

Her cunt was placed so well before,

Her father fucked them both together.

You may have heard that birds of a feather stick together.Predictably, when it comes to orgies, ne’er a truer word was said. John was no exception. Not content to pen his conquests in the plush privacy of his Oxfordshire estate, the Earl regularly frequented the Ballers’ Club. This “gentlemans’” club was for one thing and one thing only – sex. And lots of it. Rochester was known for his particular fondness of the deflowering orgy. Fresh from the thrill of blood, he would teach the ravished young damsels a variety of sexual secrets which he knew would be right up the King’s street. Then, very charitably, he would escort them to the royal bed, where they could put their skills to good use. What a mate.

2. Hellfire club (First one founded in London in 1719 by Philip, Duke of Wharton)

The Rake. Whether flying solo, or terrorizing the streets with like-minded individuals, the Rake was as corrupt as they come. For a more private debauch, these boys-about-town could retire to societies like the Hellfire Clubs that had been established across Britain and Ireland in the 18th century. At best, the purpose of these organisations was to mock traditional religion and conduct orgies. At worst, they were forums for indulging in satanic rites and sacrifices. While there is a veil of secrecy over a lot of the goings on, these bad boys of the 18th century were certainly coy about their activities. Whores from London were regularly shipped in for the evening’s entertainment, arriving by boat down the river Thames. Francis Dashwood was the ringleader (with a name like that, he was practically born to sin), and with the motto Fais ce que tu voudras (do what thou wilt), it wasn’t long before the club became synonymous with riotous sex and extreme hedonism. It clearly made an impression – a swingers’ club in London still exists under the name.

3. Marquis de Sade (1740-1814)

De Sade wasn’t the first man who liked to add a bit of biff to his boink, but he is the first to become synonymous (literally) with the cruel and unusual. Father to one half of the dynamic duo “S n’ M”, he was sentenced to death for sodomy and poisoning in 1772 after engaging in an extended session of flogging and fucking (the ‘flog-fuck’? the ‘fluck’?) with four prostitutes, whom he had dosed up on Spanish fly – a eighteenth century aphrodisiac. Unfortunately, Sade had done a bunk before her could be brought to trial, so the whole thing (including a symbolic execution of his effigy) was conducted in his absence. He was later caught however, and was in and out of prison for the rest of his life. He was a notoriously difficult and headstrong prisoner, and was often punished for his rebellious attitude. But he still played out his homage to passion and pleasure in mind if not body: it was while incarcerated that he wrote his magnum opus, ‘120 Days of Sodom’, a book considered so debauched that it remained unpublished until the twentieth century. The plot? Four wealthy libertines decide to experience extreme sexual gratification through continuous orgies. They seal themselves away for four months, bring in a harem of forty-six teenagers, and let themselves go. The end? The slaughter of most involved (Only Sade and a few friends got their happy ending). And so the Marquis de Sade and his notorious position in the English language.

THE 19TH CENTURY

THE VICTORIANS

“The proverbially prudish Victorians?” I hear you say. “Orgies? Surely not?!” Au contraire mes amis. The Victorians spent a lot of time banging on about the sin of Onan, but it turns out that the old adage is true – you really can’t keep a good man down. The degree of sexual continence required by the conventional morality of the time would, according to one historian “have killed any normal man”. Luckily, a host of enterprising ladies, young and old, were ready to provide the ailing menfolk of Victorian Britain with an outlet. These ladies of the night, along with their bawds and bordellos, were publicly railed against, but their multitude and prosperity attests to the fact that the Victorians were not simply the censorious prudes of legend. To illustrate the point, we have recourse to the now established format of this historical romp: see boxes.

1. Kate Hamilton

A most successful strumpet of the era was one Kate Hamilton. This jewel-encrusted mountain of a woman presided over a luxuriously fashionable ‘saloon’ off Leicester Square. Any customer lucky enough to meet the exacting entrance criteria was initiated into a treasure trove of ‘smart tarts’, and, rarity itself in Victorian England, cocktails. Legend has it that Kate even had the honour of entertaining royalty – the two kings of Siam in 1857, and the Shah of Persia. The former were there primarily to sample the beverages, but the latter’s (purported) visit has been immortalised in verse by the thoughtful Mr Beeton:

“It was the Shah; the wily potentate,

Was studying the secrets of our state,

Which three fat actresses with might and main,

Had been in turn endeavouring to explain”

2. Cora Pearl

The 19th century saw the return of the fashionable courtesan, perhaps the most remarkable of whom was one Cora Pearl: a red-headed minx, with a “sexy little cat face” and a talent for voluptuous eccentricities. She was regularly borne to the dinner table on, or rather under, a large silver-covered dish, luxuriating naked amidst the comestibles, or, on one occasion, encased in sauce (Hollandaise? A red wine reduction?); at other events she bathed before her guests in a silver tub of expensive French champagne, or danced the cancan (naked again) on a bed of roses. This wall-flower was the toast of Paris and her fame crossed England to America. Surely a true prude would have saved their veneration for the Virgin Mary, or some other paragon of Christian chastity?

3. Communes in the US

Meanwhile, across the pond, the commune was all the rage, spiking in the 1840s with at least 80 active throughout the decade. One such group, The Oneida Community, claims to have coined the term “Free love” in a handbook they produced in 1867. John Noyes, the founder of this commune, instituted the practice he termed “complex marriage”. In theory this meant that married couples would accept others into their ‘unity’. Sex became part of his process of indoctrination, with older women believers being charged with the sexual and religious education of younger male members of the group. Love was not freed from the conventions of marriage, Noyes just redefined the terms.

THE 20TH CENTURY

“The 20th century” I hear you say? “Ah yes, the sexual revolution, the hippies, ‘flower power’”. Indeed, dear reader, go straight to the top of the class. But the cry of ‘Free Love’ was also taken up in an unexpected quarter…

1. Alexandra Kollontai and the October Revolution

Following the revolution in 1917, Alexandra Kollontai became People’s Commissar for welfare, going on to found the “Women’s Department” in 1919. The most prominent woman in the Soviet administration, Kollontai was instrumental in the legalisation of abortion and homosexuality, and instituted procedures for quick and easy divorce. (Needless to say such policies did not survive long when Stalin took over in 1924). She saw sexual identity as bound up with economic identity. Wanting to level the playing field, she advocated state financial support for women so they wouldn’t have to rely on their husbands for pocket money, and started a crèche system to promote a collective approach to child-rearing. Her vision was of an economic equality between the sexes, which would in turn support and foster open and equal relationships of love and comradeship. This was to be the bedrock of the cohesion she envisioned for communist Russia. Kollontai wrote:

“Love is not in the least a ‘private’ matter concerning only the two loving persons: love possesses a uniting element which is valuable to the collective”; “The stronger the ties between the members of the collective as a whole, the less the need to reinforce marital relations”. Alas, not a theory borne out by the communes of the longer-lived hippie era.

While Alexandra was far from supporting unrestrained promiscuity, some optimistic Russians interpreted her message thus. In response to this “new sexual life” as he termed it, Lenin was said to quip “What normal man would want to lie down in the gutter and drink out of a puddle, or out of a glass with a rim greasy from many lips?” Kollontai had her work cut out, no?

2. The Hippies

The term ‘hippie’ appeared in the early 1960s, and denoted a youth movement that began in the United States and built on the countercultural values of the Beat Generation. Seeking freedom from social restrictions, the hippies caught the wave of the sexual revolution. Today ‘Hippie’ is almost synonymous with ‘Free Love’. Germaine Greer is quoted as saying of the period: “The group fuck is the highest ritual expression of our faith”. The social fuck to fuck social programming.

… And what then? What about the 21st century? The 22nd? The 30th and 40th? In the 1st century AD The Roman emperor Tiberius made Capri his personal playground for pleasure and sexual excess. During the Renaissance the wealth of the Catholic church was a breeding ground for the popes’ lavish debauches, while it was high-society rakes who put the spice into the 18th century. Orgies and sexual excess are primarily the privilege of those who can afford them. With Britain and the rest of the world in the grip of a global recession, is the future bleak for the bonk binge? Will we collectively turn to the economic comforts of our electric toothbrushes, those friendly and functional articles which require no costly personal grooming. Bah. Far more fun methinks to set one’s sights on the tinfoil space suits of the future where scientific progress has ensured man’s continued and prosperous existence (possibly on Mars)… A spherical space-ship, made entirely of glass and hovering somewhere on the picturesque edge of the milky way; the floor undulates with the multiple copulation of statuesque beauties who lie amidst the silvery gleam of their discarded space suits… 4000AD shaping up to be a good’un then.