Grow your way to better sex


For this piece I had hoped to compile a simple step-by-step guide to cultivating sex-boosting herbs in your own garden. I was innocently imagining all herbs to look like the little coriander plant I once bought in Waitrose…only to forget to water it so it shriveled and died within a fortnight. Apart from my own disastrous history with tending to nature, I thought this article would be a doddle.

After many hours sweating over my keypad I gave up. Not only was it impossible to find a reliable source to buy the seeds I wanted, but if I ever were to track one down, the planting/growing/harvesting methods seemed far too lengthy and complicated to bother with in the first place. It turns out not all herbs look like my coriander plant, some are massive, gnarly beasts that require tackling with a sickle.

Might I instead suggest a trip to Holland and Barratt, which is well stocked in all the herbal aphrodisiacs you could ever dream of.

Here’s a list of the best:

GINGKO BILOBA – relaxes the arteries and boosts blood flow. Traditionally used to promote mental alertness, it is a lesser-known fact that the increased blood flow reaches the genitals as well as the brain. This means that not only will your nether-regions be full of sensation but your mind will be even more aware of it. For those who like a drink, (and who doesn’t?) Gingko’s effect on blood circulation can counter some of the sexual downfalls of drunkenness…I’m sure there is no need for me to elaborate here.

GINSENG – Highly prized in China as a sort of wonder-herb, prescribed for fatigue, nerves and impotence. So much so that Chinese soldiers traditionally take ginseng into battle with them. In short: it will have you ready and raring to go. A old Chinese wives tale says that those who regularly use ginseng will live ten years longer.

ASHWAGANDHA – Often referred to as the ‘Indian ginseng’, ashwagandha is a well known aphrodisiac and semen promoter used in Ayurvedic sex tonics. This should give you a real boost in sexual energy… Remember the Indians brought us the Kama Sutra – just in case you needed further persuasion.

BLACK COHOSH – Best known as the ‘menopause’ plant, black cohosh contains isoflavones which are believed to help regulate hormones and was traditionally prescribed by 19th century American doctors to relieve menstrual cramp. Do not take if pregnant or breast-feeding.

SAW PALMETTO – A berry tree native to South Carolina, Saw Palmetto has been used to treat urinary tract and prostate problems since the 1700’s. It is also believed to increase sex drive and sperm production in men. Women may also be interested – rumour has it the berries increase breast size.

If pill taking is not satisfying your desire to get your hands dirty, go for a walk and pick some STINGING NETTLES. Although usually that weed you hate, nettles are actually very useful. They are rich in minerals and vitamin K, beneficial during menstruation due to their toxin ridding abilities. For men suffering with prosatitis and benign prostate hyperplasia, nettles can work wonders by reducing the sexual complaints that accompany these conditions. Native Americans used nettles to stimulate urinary flow and testosterone circulation. If that wasn’t enough, they also contain serotonin – the mood enhancing hormone. As if you weren’t smiling enough during sex anyway?

Be careful when picking them – remember they sting (gloves advisable). Seep a few leaves in hot water and drink as tea.

If you have any health problems, or are pregnant or breastfeeding, we would advise you to consult your doctor before taking any of the above on an industrial strength.

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