It’s a moving experience, so please bare with us…

When Virgin Media told us our broadband would be supplied six to eight weeks late, just days before we moved, we all went a bit mad. It drove some of us up the wall.

Erotic Towers has moved – to leafy Clapham.  Its denizens look glumly at a veritable mountain of boxes filled with books, obsolete sex gadgets, back issues and office paraphernalia. The only one not to make the short journey across the river was Bonking Bonita, our unofficial mascot, never taken out of her box, by now almost certainly perished (in more senses than one) and possibly a contender for the world’s oldest inflatable sex doll. Poor Bonita, we shall mourn her as she takes her inevitable resting place in some toxic landfill site in a corner of South East England. We will miss our old building, too, where many a jolly lunch was held with guests that included such luminaries as Boris Johnson, a man who loves cycling, pretty gels and being mayor and a Tough Tory. Not necessarily in that order.

So please bear with us while we try to organise ourselves into some semblance of alert and receptive efficiency. We hope to be up and running again in the first week of January. But between now and then we will be acting a little crazy…

Oh, and thanks v. much, Virgin Media, for compounding our moving lunacy by telling us a couple of days before that our new place would not have the super-fast broadband you had promised and we would just jolly well have to wait – for up to eight weeks. But never mind, those nice people at Sky are helping out. So there’s one in the eye for Liberty Global’s chairman, John C. Malone, aka Darth Vader. Yes, I’m sure our defection to Sky will come as a bitter blow to Darth. Question is, will Rupert do any better? According to a cheery ex-employee of Sky we talked to today, probably not – they’re all the same bunch of wankers. There’s one robust insider view of the telecoms industry.

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