sex non-news

When in Dubai, don’t do it in the road. Over the last few years, various couples have gone to jail for external erotic exuberance, the latest being an Anglo-Irish couple who have just been banged up for three months for allegedly offending a taxi driver with an unrestrained public display of affection. They will appeal.

“No, no, not a pistol, honest, officer, I’m just pleased to see you.” Somewhat closer to home, a heavily tattooed Shropshire lad has been sentenced to five years in prison for tucking a dildo into the waistband of his trousers: this resulted in a member of the public thinking it was a gun and calling the police. It seems a rather excessive term, but there may have been other things that the judge took into consideration when sentencing him. Reader be warned: from now on have a care how you carry that £1,690.00 Coco de Mer gold-plated Gentleman’s Butt Plug.

News has filtered through the Bamboo Curtain that Lei Zhengfu, a Communist Party worthy in Chongqing, South Western China, unwisely starred in a sex tape, cavorting with his (unnamed) 18-year-old mistress. He’s been given the push by local officials. Poor old Mr Lei, it seems you can’t even enjoy the perks of high office any more like you could in the Great Helmsman’s day.  But we feel more sorry for the ‘mistress’. The odds of her being able to profit from the notoriety surrounding the tape à la shameless hussy such as Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton or Pam Anderson would seem extremely slim, despite her country’s vast population.

A Malaysian study has found that there’s no evidence to back up the idea that having sex when a baby is due will trigger the birth process.
So that’s that, then. However this 19th century drawing (see right) by Hungarian artist Mihaly von Zichy entitled Une demi-heure avant l’accouchement tells us that the theory has some history behind it, whatever the boffins at the University of Malaya might say.