Giving sex a good name since 1995
Could more than one partner provide the extra lovin’ I needed to feel more securely attached in love? Or were polyamorists already so damn secure they were naturally good at loving multiple people and I would fail miserably?
I want to be with a man who’s like an engaging book; a real page turner, one I can’t put down because he’s bringing up thoughts and ideas that challenge and delight me.
I waffle between a sense of admiration for a person who has discovered a kink which brings them joy, yet wonder what horrible event in early childhood caused their poor little neurons to equate pleasure with being cut or disgraced.
If we plot a relationship on the XY axis, you’ve very likely to see an inverse relationship between what initially feels great and what’s actually got long term potential. After suffering the sobering effects of a plunging plot line, I have decided to stay receptive to men who initially register quite low on my Y axis.
Only recently I was still slumped on the couch nursing a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn. No Prince Charming is going to be attracted to that mess no matter how sexy my bed head look. And even when I put on lipstick and a little black dress, my unprocessed grief surrounds me like a stinky pheromone cloud.
Self pleasure is one of life’s greatest gifts. It’s like having a never ending supply of peanut M&M’s in your pocket. How sad that people grow up thinking jacking off to be anything other than a magical moment of calorie-free joy.
Whether you’re high on love or in the dumps from loss, keep reminding yourself that this state is temporary. The real work and reward comes after the highs or lows have past.
“Once divorce carried all the stigma. Now, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.” How about we wrestle with our shame and discover who we are in the aftermath. It could be amazing.
Some say female orgasms are an incentive to have sex for reproduction and bonding, but there’s little support for this, especially given we’re one of the most promiscuous animals on the planet. And because our orgasms are utterly unreliable, if women needed to have an orgasm to reproduce there would be, like, fifteen people in the world.
If one person in a marriage is routinely withholding sex and the other seeks it elsewhere, is only one to blame? Certainly one person is being cheated of a vow of sexual fidelity. But isn’t the other being cheated of sex?