FetLife Lessons

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I waffle between a sense of admiration for a person who has discovered a kink which brings them joy, yet wonder what horrible event in early childhood caused their poor little neurons to equate pleasure with being cut or disgraced. read more

The Plot Lines of Love

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If we plot a relationship on the XY axis, you’ve very likely to see an inverse relationship between what initially feels great and what’s actually got long term potential. After suffering the sobering effects of a plunging plot line, I have decided to stay receptive to men who initially register quite low on my Y axis. read more

On Being Out of Love

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Only recently I was still slumped on the couch nursing a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn. No Prince Charming is going to be attracted to that mess no matter how sexy my bed head look. And even when I put on lipstick and a little black dress, my unprocessed grief surrounds me like a stinky pheromone cloud. read more

Masturbation Liberation

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Self pleasure is one of life’s greatest gifts. It’s like having a never ending supply of peanut M&M’s in your pocket. How sad that people grow up thinking jacking off to be anything other than a magical moment of calorie-free joy. read more

Infidelity Files Part 2: On Walking Through Fire

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“Once divorce carried all the stigma. Now, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.” How about we wrestle with our shame and discover who we are in the aftermath. It could be amazing. read more

The Varieties of Orgasmic Experience

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Some say female orgasms are an incentive to have sex for reproduction and bonding, but there’s little support for this, especially given we’re one of the most promiscuous animals on the planet. And because our orgasms are utterly unreliable, if women needed to have an orgasm to reproduce there would be, like, fifteen people in the world. read more

The Infidelity Files, Part 1: The Cheater

If one person in a marriage is routinely withholding sex and the other seeks it elsewhere, is only one to blame? Certainly one person is being cheated of a vow of sexual fidelity. But isn’t the other being cheated of sex? read more