Xmas Reviews: our favourite sex toy this Christmas is the ZUMIO X.


Invented and designed by women, its blurb boasts that it can produce an orgasm in sixty seconds.


Well, no, actually it’s not.

The Zumio X Rechargeable Stimulation Spiro TIP Clitoral Stimulator (to give it its full title) certainly hit the spot (ha!) and, after a little practice, got this reviewer to the point of no return in record time. If you happen to be Zooming (yes, that sort of Zoom-io) from home and feel like taking an orgasmic break, the Zumio is whisper-quiet, too. Just remember not to do a Meg Ryan in case you’ve left the mike on.

With a nostalgic nod to the altogether more innocent Spirograph, a popular chidren’s stocking-filler of the 1960s and 70s (so I’m told), the Zumio X is definitely different, more like a delicate cappuccino milk frother than a phallic beast. If you’ve been used to a more conventional toy it does need a bit of getting used to but once you’ve conquered its unfamiliarity, the delicate tip will froth you into to a frenzy: a real change from those more solid, ‘meatier’ devices.

The wand-like shape is feminine and the controls blissfully simple and responsive to a light touch, so you no longer have to fumble and pummel a bit of squidgy silicone. Charging is delightfully easy; other manufacturers could learn from the Zumio’s exemplary system. Too often toys become detached during the recharging process.

Briefly? Simple, sophisticated, quiet and wonderfully effective. The Zumio X is refined and subtle, and certainly does the job. It’s my idea of the perfect Christmas present.

You can find it (in UK)  here