Wednesday 28th April


I am convinced the boy with the come-to-bed neck and his Dong thing are having an effect. I definately look less like Andrew Lloyd Webber.
And my nipples seem to be permanently erect.
Which looks super under my new Nicole Farhi.
I was booked into a Tantric Sex workshop, but when I arrived it turned out that last week’s class still hadn’t come, so I left them at it and spent the evening in the class next door, Finding my Inner Adolescent. Well, it sounded like it had more potential than the Inner Child. Stayed up all night comparing labia with a researcher from Justin Lee Pointless’s show, lost £150 betting on the boys ‘Who Can Wank Highest’ competition and wrote to David Cassidy saying I wanted to have his children.
Bollyless. But became tachycardic after six bottles of something called Guarana Fizz.
Taken home by Christophe, the workshop leader (vintage levi/Harley Davidson/Prince Albert).

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